New Jersey Divorce Lawyer Blog
If you’re at the point in your divorce where it’s time to make decisions and negotiate a settlement, you’ll need some pointers to help you reach your goals. Here are some tips for negotiating the best result from your divorce.
Goal setting
Prior to a negotiation meeting, list your goals – a general overall goal, such as “do what’s best for my children,” “make sure I have a place to live,” and “ensure I can retire at a reasonable age,” as well as more specific goals on each issue, like “I want to pay less than $1,000 per month in spousal support” or “I want a 10/4 parenting time schedule.” Your smaller goals are just guideposts and may move throughout the negotiation. Keep your big picture in mind and be flexible with your smaller, more specific goals. This way of thinking helps you compromise on non-core issues and hold firm on matters central to your overall, primary goal.
Think long-term to avoid settler’s remorse
To illustrate this tip, let’s say you are a long-term stay-at-home mom and you want primary custody of your children. However, you know your husband won’t agree because he wants to pay as little as possible in child support. You want to propose that you’ll take less in child support if he will agree to your custody proposal. It may be tempting to give in on an issue in order to do what you think is best for your children. Before you give in too quickly, hold out a bit, stand firm, or fight back. Generally, given the circumstances above, you should receive primary custody and child support. Keep in mind that child support is financial support for your children and they need that, too, as much, if not more than time with you. Concede on points that don’t matter to the big picture and dig in on issues that have a big impact on your long-term goals. Continue Reading →
