MEETING OPTIONS DURING THE CORONAVIRUS: The Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen understands your concerns regarding the spread of the Coronavirus, and now offers different meeting options to our clients and those seeking legal representation. All meetings, including initial consultations, can be handled either through the phone, FaceTime, Zoom, or in person.

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shutterstock_1091762711-300x211Divorce–it’s a word that can feel like a heavy weight, a crushing burden, and a jarring wake-up call all rolled into one. The heartache of untangling a life once shared can leave you feeling adrift, like a ship lost in a foggy sea, and dating after divorce? Well, that seems as daunting as navigating through a storm. Yet, here you are, ready to dip your toes back into the murky waters of romance. It’s time to shake off the dust, put on your best smile, and embrace this new chapter with open arms.

First things first: self-reflection. Before you even think about swiping right on that dating app or agreeing to meet someone for coffee, take a moment to breathe. Close your eyes and think about what you want. What are you looking for? A serious relationship, casual fun, or simply companionship? It’s essential to understand your intentions. This isn’t just about finding someone new; it’s about rediscovering yourself. You’ve been through a transformative experience, and it’s time to embrace the new you.

Now, here comes the tricky part–putting yourself out there. The mere thought of attending a social event or joining a dating app can feel like preparing for a high-stakes exam. You might feel like an awkward teenager again, fumbling with your words and worrying about what to wear. But remember, everyone else there is likely just as uncertain. Consider starting with low-pressure environments when dating after divorce. Maybe a cooking class where you can bond over burnt soufflés or a book club where discussing the latest bestseller can spark a genuine conversation. Continue Reading →

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VanAulenGoing through a divorce is rarely a simple process. Ending a marriage and looking toward an uncertain future creates stress and anxiety and triggers a variety of emotions. Divorce laws are different in every state. Procedures may differ in every court within a state. Whether to hire an experienced family law attorney may be the most important decision you make in the divorce process. If you are contemplating a divorce, consider the following benefits of legal representation.

Lawyers have critical experience and expertise.

Judges hold persons representing themselves to the same standards as an attorney. Persons representing themselves “pro se” are expected to know the law, evidentiary rules and court procedures as well as an attorney who has practiced for many years.Divorce laws can be complex. Specific paperwork must be filled out accurately, filed in court following a specific schedule and properly served on the other spouse.  It’s easy to lose track of deadlines, and non-attorneys can easily overlook issues when filling out pattern forms. An attorney will see that the paperwork is filled out accurately and that all issues are thoroughly addressed. Continue Reading →

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shutterstock_2603087571-300x169Divorce is not fought solely in courtrooms. This is particularly the case in the digital communications age. The end of a marriage often plays out across social media platforms. Posts, photos, comments, and even private messages can become evidence that shapes outcomes related to custody, support, and property division. What may feel like harmless sharing in the moment can carry serious legal consequences later. Understanding the most common social media mistakes in a divorce case can best protect your vital interests in a New Jersey marriage dissolution proceeding.

Oversharing Personal Emotions

Divorce is an emotionally charged experience. In this day and age, social media can feel like a natural outlet. However, venting frustrations, anger, or sadness online can backfire and represent one of the most significant social media mistakes in a divorce case. For example, public posts criticizing your spouse can be used to portray you as volatile, hostile, or unwilling to co-parent effectively. This can be the case even when what you post on social media is factually correct. Judges often consider the tone and behavior of each party, particularly in cases involving children. A pattern of negative or aggressive posts may suggest poor judgment or emotional instability. Even vague or “subtweet”-style posts can be interpreted as targeted attacks. With all of this in mind, when it comes to avoiding social media mistakes in a divorce, it is best to keep emotional processing offline. Speak with trusted friends, family, or a professional rather than broadcasting your feelings to a wide audience.

Discussing the Divorce Case Online

During a New Jersey marriage dissolution proceeding, it may be tempting to share updates or your side of the story. This can especially be the case if you feel misunderstood. However, discussing details of your divorce proceedings online is a serious mistake. Anything you post can potentially be used as evidence. Statements about legal strategies, settlement negotiations, or interactions with your spouse can weaken your position. Worse, they may violate court orders or confidentiality agreements. Keep in mind that even private groups or so-called friends-only posts are not truly secure. Screenshots can be taken and shared, and courts generally treat digital communications as discoverable evidence. Continue Reading →

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shutterstock_2339046281-300x200Successful co-parenting strategies begin with a shared commitment to your child’s emotional and physical health and well-being. What this fundamentally means is that setting aside a variety of things when making decisions relating to the child or children:

  • Personal grievances
  • Past hurts
  • Unresolved conflicts

With this in mind, there is an array of different factors to bear in mind and apply when it comes to co-parenting strategies, which we discuss with you in this article. Our experienced legal team stands ready to assist you in regarding to issues associated with parenting in a post-divorce world.

Establish Clear and Consistent Communication

At the heart of comprehensive co-parenting strategies is communication. The truth of the matter is that communication is the backbone of co-parenting. This requires you and the other parent to keep conversations:

  • Focused
  • Factual
  • Child-centered

Many divorced individuals with co-parenting in mind find it helpful to use technology in pursuing a pathway to appropriate communication:

  • Email
  • Parenting apps
  • Text messages

In the grand scheme of things, when communication is predictable and calm, children benefit. It works to ensure that their bet interests are met on a consistent basis in their post-divorce lives. It satisfies that the overarching legal mandate of ensuring that the best interests of a child are satisfied on an ongoing and consistent basis. Continue Reading →

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Many people with children considering a New Jersey divorce have many questions. A good many of these queries tend to center on issues surrounding children in divorce. If you find yourself in such a position, one area in which you may have questions is about parallel parenting. We present for your consideration and assistance 20 of the key FAQs about parallel parenting for your consideration.

  1. What is parallel parenting?

The most basic question concerning parallel parenting necessitates an initial response. Parallel parenting is a parenting arrangement used when parents have what is described as high conflict. Each parent cares for the child independently during their parenting time, with minimal interaction between parents overall.

  1. How is parallel parenting different from co-parenting?

Co-parenting requires frequent communication and shared decision-making. As noted, because of the state of the relationship between parents, parallel parenting minimizes communication and allows each parent to make day-to-day decisions without ongoing coordination. Continue Reading →

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An Essential Guide for Parents Navigating a Difficult Transition

 New Jersey child custody mediation can seem somewhat confusing, if not overwhelming, on first blush. emotionally, In the grand scheme of a New Jersey divorce case, mediation is designed to help parents build a parenting plan that protects their children’s interests and well-being. Coming to a better understanding and preparing for mediation can make the process far less concerning and significantly more productive. This New Jersey child custody mediation is designed to provide you with an essential overview of the ins and outs of the process.

Understanding the Purpose of New Jersey Child Custody Mediation

Continue Reading →

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The population of the Garden State, and the United States more broadly, is becoming proportionally older. As a consequence, it is easy to imagine that divorce among older people is becoming more frequent. Oftentimes, divorce of older individuals is referred to as gray divorce. Before we dive into a deeper discussion about the rising tide of New Jersey gray divorce, we take a moment to define the concept. Generally speaking, gray divorce is defined as Gray divorce is the term used for the dissolution of marriage among older adults, typically couples aged 50 and above. Unlike divorces earlier in life, gray divorces often occur after decades of marriage and involve unique financial, emotional, and social considerations – which are discussed with you in this article.

Increasing Rate of Gray Divorce

The esteemed Pew Research Center provides some alarming statistics about gray divorce in the United States, including New Jersey gray divorce. The divorce rate among people over the age of 50 has doubled since 1990. The divorce rate for people over the age of 65 has seen an even sharper incline. Since 1990, the divorce rate among people over the age of 65 has nearly tripled. With this statistical background in mind, we take a close look at the impact of New Jersey gray divorce.

Financial Wallop of Gray Divorce

Following the conclusion of a divorce in the Golden Years, parties to such a marriage dissolution proceeding can face significant financial issues. For example, following a divorce later in life, a woman’s standard of living declines by about 50 percent, according to PudMed. A man’s standard of living can also be expected to decline, on average by 21 percent. Overall wealth or value of accumulated assets tends to drop by 50 percent for spouses of both genders. Continue Reading →

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Navigating a New Jersey divorce can be emotionally challenging and even financially draining. With this duly noted, you must be vigilant to avoid giving away your power during the marital dissolution process. Unnecessarily (even dangerously) relinquishing your power in a New Jersey divorce can have dire and long-lasting consequences. These include everything from agreeing to unfair asset and debt division to losing child custody. There are a number of time-tested tactics you should consider employing to better ensure that you stay empowered and protect your rights during a New Jersey marriage dissolution case.

Understand New Jersey’s Divorce Laws and Recognize What You Don’t Know

Knowledge is your first line of defense in a divorce. For example, New Jersey utilizes what is known as equitable distribution or division standard when it comes to marital assets and debts (and who gets what). Under the equitable division of property standard, assets and debts are divided in a manner that is deemed just and equitable under the facts and circumstances of a particular case. You need to bear in mind that ​equitable does not mean equally. Courts consider a variety of factors that include:

  • The marriage’s duration
  • Each spouse’s earning capacity
  • Contributions to the ​marriage

Child custody decisions hinge on another judicial standard used in a New Jersey marriage dissolution case. This is the best interests of the child standard. In basic terms, the best interests of the child standard keeps the focus on the child’s well being above other issues when it comes to matters like custody, parenting time, and support.   Continue Reading →

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A New Jersey child custody case has the potential to be among the most complicated legal proceedings in a court in the Garden State. Navigating a New Jersey child custody case typically is an emotionally charged and legally complex process. While the idea of self-representation might seem appealing to avoid attorney fees or to maintain personal control, that is not necessarily the best approach to take this type of proceeding. Self-representation oftentimes leads to unfavorable outcomes for a party to child custody proceedings. There are a number of significant, key reasons why you should not represent yourself in a New Jersey child custody proceeding.

 Lack of Legal Knowledge Can Hurt Your Case

At the outset, it is important to understand that New Jersey family law is intricate and continually evolving. Custody decisions hinge on the “best interests of the child.” This is a legal standard that requires a detailed understanding of legal statutes, case law, and judicial discretion. The bottom line is that without a legal background, you may misinterpret rules, miss deadlines, or fail to present essential information. Making these mistakes can have a devastating impact or effect on your position in a child custody proceeding.

Courtroom Procedure Is Not “User-Friendly”

New Jersey family courts operate under what are considered strict procedural guidelines. Family court judges expect all parties to follow court rules and protocols, submit the correct documentation, and meet filing requirements. This is required whether or not a person appearing before the court is an experienced attorney or an inexperienced party to a divorce case. The reality is that missing a single procedural detail, such as a required form or deadline, can result in your case being delayed or even dismissed. Attorneys are trained to navigate these procedures seamlessly. A layperson simply is not. Continue Reading →

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When a marriage ends, the period of separation and divorce can be tumultuous, emotional, and legally complex. One key decision that can significantly influence both the legal outcome and emotional well-being of those involved in a New Jersey marriage dissolution case is whether to live with a significant other during this time. There are a number of facts and factors to bear in mind when it comes to living with ​a significant other during divorce.

Negative Impact on Custody and Parenting Time

In a New Jersey divorce proceeding, the best interest of the child is the paramount consideration when determining custody and parenting time arrangements. Introducing a new partner into the household, especially during an ongoing divorce, can raise red flags in the eyes of the court. Judges may question the stability of the child’s living environment, the character of the new partner, or whether the cohabitation is confusing or even potentially emotionally harmful to the children.

In some cases, the presence of a new partner can be used by the other parent to argue for limited custody or supervised parenting time. This particularly is the case if the romantic partner has a questionable background or if the transition for the children has not been handled with care. Continue Reading →

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Peter Van Aulen is certified by the New Jersey Supreme Court as a Matrimonial Attorney.

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